I have this thing where I would tell a sessions they are going to do a certain exercise, and then I would apologize to the group for it – “We are going to plank now. Sorry,” or “Sorry, but you are going to do a lot of squats and lunges today.” Until one day Ursula told me to stop apologizing. Among all the laughs, it made me think. How many times do we apologize for things we do, or decisions we have made, or even things others do…
When we apologize, we actually make the situation all about me. I’m sorry I am late, or I’m sorry I didn’t dress correctly. It’s all about me and how I feel about it. It doesn’t include others, or their opinion.
But when I turn the “negative” apology into something positive: Thank you for waiting for me, eg., we shift the attention to others, acknowledging the people around us.
Once realizing this, I started noticing – and was very surprised – at how many times I was actually, without thinking, apologizing. Someone would fall off the exercise ball and I would apologize! Why couldn’t I just asked: “Are you okay?”!!!!
WE put a a lot of emphasis on body language, that we forget the not only HOW we speak, but WHAT we speak, can actually influence ourselves and others around us. And now I’m not talking about negative speech, hate speech or any form of breaking people down speech. I’m talking about mindlessly apologizing for life happening.
STOP apologizing. Unless you’ve actually did something wrong, or hurt someone, STOP apologizing. You don’t have to say sorry for how you laugh, how you dress, how you smile, even how you talk. If you made a decision that will change your life, STOP apologizing about it. STOP apologizing for saying no, for telling the truth.
STOP apologizing for being you.
It all comes down to loving and accepting you for who you are. When we can do that, we realize that no apology is needed. You are who you are. You are made perfect and there is no need to apologize for how you were created.
But we need to train our mind to get out of this routine of apologizing. It becomes a habit to say I’m sorry. The more you say thank you instead of sorry, the easier it will become to live a life of thankfulness instead having to apologizing for actually being alive.
Here are a few good ways you can change your way of speaking:
Instead of saying: “I’m sorry I am late” , rather say: “Thank you for waiting for me”
Instead of saying: “I’m sorry for being so sensitive”, rather say: “Thank you for accepting me”
Instead of saying: “I’m sorry I always mess up”, rather say: “Thank you for being patient with my mistakes”
Instead of saying: “Sorry that you have to help me so much”, rather say: “Thank you for doing me a favor”
Instead of saying: “I’m sorry for talking so much”, rather say: “Thank you for listening to me”
By changing your “sorry” into a “Thank you”, you can change your life and the person you are talking to. It’s funny how people won’t notice when you apologize, but try to change the way you speak, everyone will notice it. And this is because we all do it: apologize. Saying Thank you instead, will make people stop and listen to what you are saying. You will find that people would listen more often when you speak, people will take your words to heart and change their way of speaking too.
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